yaa, time for me to blog againn. school's going to start again next mondayy. it's a new start of a school year. i'm BS Year 2 student by then.
somehow, i don't know why i've been feeling quite low these days. maybe because school's going to start, so my mood isn't that good. and many problems just keep coming to me. maybe there's no problems at all, just that i keep thinking there're problems. every single day, i will always feel upset or emo. no matter how i try to go out and keep myself occupy not to think about anything, but i will still feel upset about everything. my family, my boyfriend, even my friends.
at times, i really feel like just ignore everything. maybe i should just give up on everythingg. is true, why i want to make myself feel so miserable? why i keep having these kind of thoughts that i want to make everyone happy? and end up i myself feeling so upset? why do i keep feeling so low and my heart is always feeling so hurtful?
school's going to start already and it seems like my mood is still not improvingg. i cant sustain this kind of attitude and behaviour within myself. study is going to be another problem for me. if i still have to make myself feeling troubled or miserable over so many things, i'm sure my studies will be affected.
somehow, i hope that i can be a badd person or cold hearted. just ignore everything and care about myself. at least i wont feel so upset until now. yes, i'll lose all the precious people around me. i'm wondering if i should do that and does it worth it.
it seems like everything that happens around me will affect my mood so muchh. even just a minor thing i will also get so upset. even jus writing this entry can also make my heart hurts. why am i feeling so low?
i'm tired of feeling so hurt all the times.crying has become such a norm thing for me that at times, i'm thinking, exactly how much tears do i have for me to shed? why my tears will just keep flowing? will there be a time that my tears will just finish?
for now, i just want to say, if there's a day when all of you realise that why i never bother about anything anymore, please forgive me. because i think i cant take anymore. i dont meant it too but i think i reach my limit. just treat it as i dont exist.
because feeling upset and emo everyday is become very tiresome on me. even people who never do anything wrongg, i somehow also affect them. i don't know whyy.
okayy, i will try not to think about anything from now on. this's what i want to give myself for now.
today will be my last day that i'll shed my tears suddenly for out of no reasons.