people who dont want to read can just go...
okay, i am sorry.
but i am just feeling this way all these while...
so cant blame me if i am saying things that sound hurting.

i am just feeling upset with my parents these days...
maybe i am feeling stressed up or temperamental at the moment.
but i really just cant stand it anymore.

even my mum just pissed me off too.
i dont know, i just feel that both of them are selfish.
why they always think in their own positions and never tried to put themselves in my shoe and think about my feelings?
even i tried to talk to them.
they just being so conscious about their own world, own thinking.

is just so tiring and disappointing to continue talking to them.
sometimes, i really just feel like crying.
it just makes me feel so lonely at times.
because it seemed like nobody really cared about my feelings.
especially my parents, which make me even more upset.
i had already been tolerating for a very long time.
and yeah, to everyone who is reading this blog.
maybe already start to think that i should be the one who is problematic.

maybe you are right.
since i am so upset with so many ppl.
maybe i am the one who need to think over.
but i just cant think of any reason why i should think over?

it seemed like just because i am the eldest in the family.
does that make it a point that i have to be the one who always do everything?
sometimes, i also will be lazy and do not feel like doing anything. there will be times i will feel tired too.
does that mean that being the eldest, i am not allowed to?
is it really so?
i also need a shoulder to be lend on.
i am not as strong as what everyone always think.

and i also dont understand why i am so upset with my parents.
maybe their actions already make me feeling very disappointed with them.
and it seemed like they dont understand.
and i think even i tell ppl about it,
ppl might just think, i am just complaining all the way. so they just keep quiet, feel that i shouldnt be behaving this way.
feel that i am very unreasonable.
yeah, i am unreasonable to all of you.

and maybe...
because at this point of time.
i really need support from ppl, esp my parents.
but instead, what i get from them.
are just disappointment and unhappiness.

i already feel disappointed with my dad.
and i feel like... i already become numb to him.
am i going to treat my mum tt way too?

if so...
i really dont know what am i going to do for my life down the road.
because... i dont feel like i have any family anymore.

i am alone.
and that is what i am feeling now.

and yes, i will not seek comfort from people again.
because i dont see the point of doing it anymore.
it will just become a pain to them.
so i understand.
sorry to trouble everyone.