heavy.
is the only word i can describe about my feeling right now.
ever since this holiday started.
i have never feel any better than before.

seem like being back to sch for lesson should be a better choice.
at least i wont be feeling so frustrated, angry and pressurized.
probs are just coming all the way to me.

maybe just tt i'm not gd at handling probs.
i just cant take pressure?
i will just break down when everything just pile on me.

maybe i have given myself too much pressure.
which makes matter looking more worse than it supposed not to be.

i think study should be the biggest factor...
honestly speaking.
i think tt...
i am feeling more and more inferior bt myself.
for not being the best.
for not achieving what i supposed i want to be.
i never had this kind of feeling before...

this kind of feeling is like...
never ever want something so badly.
so badly that it can drive me crazy.

i dont know what exactly i wan from myself.
and just wish tt my mind dont think so complicated.

everything supposed to be fall in pieces.
but somehow.
it just didnt happen.

i dont know why.
it seems like my life.
has become... incomplete?
it's just seem to lack of something.
which really makes me feel like crying.

i really hope i can figure it out!
because it's just making me so miserable.
it seems like my days are just getting more and more heavy.
esp this holiday.

can everything just get over soon...